Issue #380 – Wednesday, October 5, 2022
Living with Paradox
by Lauren Thompson
Paradox has become an increasingly apparent dynamic in our lives. Most of us have been feeling a persistent level of tension buzzing in our atmosphere from living between polarities. Learning to live with paradox has been a focus of many therapeutic modalities and is key to living a balanced and healthy life.
If this is our reality, then we need to understand the nuance that we live in. A paradox is a seemingly self-contradictory statement. Let’s first look at paradox in a more general sense to get a better understanding of how they shape our lives. The liar’s paradox is a popular paradoxical statement and is “this statement is false.” If the statement is false, then the liar would be telling the truth. If the statement is true, that would counter the liar’s claim that the statement is false. So, is this statement true or false? Where does it fit between the two polarities of true and false? How do you feel being confronted with this paradox?
Now that we have a feeling for the tension that paradoxes bring us, we can also sense that it is difficult to sit with and accept that tension. We are highly motivated to resolve the tension. Our initial instincts are to find a solution or concrete answer to the paradox that will bring us a sense of calm. Of course, the problem is that there are no absolutes with a paradox. Furthermore, any efforts to resolve the tension by running towards one of the polarities is not only futile, but often creates additional stress and problems.
As we move towards one end of the polarity or extreme, we are inherently and unavoidably taking an equal and oppositional stance. For instance, we have polarizing needs in our lives for stability and change. We often achieve stability through performing regular routines in our daily life. However, when we perform the same routines every day, that stability can become boring, mundane, and meaningless and we begin to crave change. Maybe we satiate that need for change by uprooting our whole lives or maybe we just decide to try a new restaurant every week. Initially that new change is invigorating, but eventually, and paradoxically, that ‘change’ becomes a routine. A new restaurant every week becomes our new stability.
The further we go toward one polarity, the closer we move to coming around to the other side. We frequently encounter this dynamic in the health and wellness industry with the focus on living a healthy lifestyle. Many of us have encountered individuals who push “living healthy” to a point where it becomes obsessive and unhealthy. The focus on eating healthy can go so far that the individual has come around to living unhealthy and has developed an eating disorder. Sometimes individuals push themselves in their workouts past fatigue and are forced to rest by the frequent resulting injuries. For these individuals, more rest incorporated into their workouts and routines would likely help them avoid injury and stay healthy as well as, paradoxically in the long run, get stronger at a faster pace.
Many of us have seen new clients that think they will see more improvement the harder they work. Whether it is on the reformer and their movement or footwork is unnecessarily quick and hasty, or when they are first given the straps and they give them a good yank only to find that their exhibition of brute force is not going to go well for them in this new context. How often have you had to correct a new client to go a little slower to bring in more intention and greater awareness? This is a moment for technique correction, but also deeper reflection.
In many ways, Pilates is really the embodiment of paradox. In practicing Pilates, we are confronting the tension of our physical movements with a goal of working towards finding balance. Embracing paradox is essential for Pilates instructors both in understanding the dualities present in the actual movements and exercises we do, as well as in our general awareness of being a responsible instructor and leader for our students.
Next time you are teaching or taking a class, take time to observe how your cues or movements are highlighting our embodied oppositions. We create stability to gain more mobility. The give and take at play between the front and back of the body. How we regularly focus on specific and separate parts while keeping the context of the whole in mind.
In many ways, Pilates instructors are also therapists. Our modality of therapy is movement. The subtle movements we do with our clients are much more than just exercise. Many of us are fully aware that the work is much deeper than just sweating and getting in a good workout. It is difficult to pinpoint what that deep work is, but it often entails providing our clients with a fuller understanding of themselves. On the surface, that understanding can look very mechanical. The knowledge of what part goes where and how our body works is empowering to our clients, but it is not the whole story.
I find that the innately paradoxical nature of Pilates provides my clients with a microcosm to understand and live with paradox. This microcosm will help them in navigating paradox in their larger world. I encourage you to overtly help your clients make those deeper and paradoxical connections. While they are learning how to move and understand their body, connect that knowledge to how those new experiences relate to their relationship with the world around them. How something that looks easy from the outside (like a well-executed rollup), actually takes a tremendous amount of work to achieve. Help them to appreciate taking a moment of rest and recovery after a difficult series of exercises because that moment of rest helps us to process the difficult work we just did and puts us in a stronger position for the next difficult series. And that success only comes from many, many failures.
Part of your task is to help your clients understand that there are no simple answers and that everything depends on the context of the situation. Teach them that embracing the tension of paradox is taking an active position of change and growth in contrast to the stagnation and limits of “arriving” at some destination. Eventually, our clients will see that actively seeking out the opposites in our life is the path towards living a richer and fuller life. A life of creativity, listening, practicing, and wondering.
Lauren Thompson currently resides in Olympia, WA and is the owner of Thrive Pilates & Movement Studio in downtown Kansas City, Missouri. She has been teaching Pilates and yoga since 2007 and holds an MA in Counseling and Guidance. Lauren brings a unique, holistic perspective to her clients with her extensive background in both how the body moves and how our minds process. Her ability to make connections between mind and body and people and their communities helps her clients to improve both physically and mentally to achieve optimal health.